Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
