break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
