If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i drank out of a bidet.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
