It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
