I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
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Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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