Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
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Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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