Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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