Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
