weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
