Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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