I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
