There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
