I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
