I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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