Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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