so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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