So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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