Can Purell be used as lube?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize