the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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