What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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