my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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