Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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