She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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