i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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