It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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