her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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