Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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