He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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