He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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