was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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