Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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