U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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