Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
