Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she smelled like a LAN party
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
