my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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