okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
