I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
