We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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