Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
