and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
