quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
