I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
