Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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