belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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