So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
