either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
