He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
