Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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