God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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