so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
