You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
there is glitter all over my balls
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
