Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
