It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
