Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
