yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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