Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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