i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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