I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
