His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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