I wanna passion pit in your ass
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so let's talk penis.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
