I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
