'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Mom said you looked used
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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