the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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