I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
