____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
